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May 21, 2003
I Hate Microsoft
Actually, this is not news. However, after completing the phone registration of Office XP today, (work related, not personal), I hate them even more. Why, you ask? Because the phone registration process is one of the most asinine things I've ever had to sit through.
First, you have to call the Microsoft toll-free number and listen to a computer explain the rules to you.
Second, you have to read a 50-digit number over the phone while the lame voice-recognition system mangles your words. (Based on its own heuristic of evil, it decided that I should be allowed to type the numbers using the phone keypad, but this announcement came only after I had finished speaking the first forty-eight numbers aloud. Thanks.) To make it worse, you have to speak the numbers in groups of six. After each group, the computer reads them back to you and then asks if it can continue. ("Did you say 3... 1... 4... 5... 9... 2? If this is correct, say 'yes'. If not, say 'no'.")
Once you are finished with the voice-recognition horror, you are ready for the third level of the abyss: Listening while the computer voice reads your confirmation numbers, which you then must type into your own computer. Once again, we are only allowed to work with six numbers at a time. ("3...4...9...1...7...6... Okay, are you ready to go on? Say "Go On" if you are ready to continue, or else say "Repeat" for me to repeat the numbers.")
If you manage to do everything right the first time, then you might get to register your software. Otherwise, rinse and repeat.
Lessons Learned:
First, what would normally take two humans about two minutes over the phone, now requires fifteen minutes and two aspirin thanks to a computer.
Second, the voice-recognition system must have been written by the same programmers that brough us Microsoft Bob.
Third, hangup the phone before you lose your mind, and install Open Office instead.
Posted by crandal at May 21, 2003 03:14 PM